For adults · Friends
With a friend
A friend is venting about their sister for the third time this month.
What could you do first?
Three things you could say. None of them is the one right answer; each note says why it fits the moment, or why it may not.
Ask: "Do you want ideas, or do you want me to listen?"
A strong fit
It asks which kind of help they want. Listening is help too.
Listen, and say "that sounds hard" when they pause.
Also works here
Listening first is often what venting needs. You can ask about ideas later.
Tell them what they should say to their sister.
Worth a second look
Advice they did not ask for. It skips finding out what they want.
What people here usually expect
- Venting usually asks for company, not solutions. Asking which is a kindness.
- You can say you have heard this before, gently, if it is wearing on you.
- Setting a limit ("I can listen for ten minutes") is allowed.
Your words
Write your own way of asking a friend whether they want ideas or listening.
In the app you write one line here and it lands in your lines. Nothing is graded.
The move this moment practises: Ask before helping.
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